My wife has managed to upgrade me to deli ham off the bone, but otherwise, this is still pretty much me today.

If they ever make a lunchmeat better than ham, I suppose I’ll start eating that.

It’s not like I haven’t tried others.  My mom rarely met a luncheon meat she didn’t like – I’ve had nearly every kind of loaf there is out there (pickle, pimento, Dutch…), salami, and of course her love of all things goose liver is well-documented here.  Ham salad… even baloney, back in the day, until I had it too often and got tired of it decades ago.

But in the end, they all pale in comparison to my beloved ham.  It’s the perfect meat.  It’s salty, it’s pink…. probably the ONLY meat in the world I like nearly as well cold as I do hot.

It’s everything the other lunchmeats of the world WISH they were.  And if it was good the first time, it’ll be just as good the four-hundred-and-fifteen-millionth time.  Give or take.